I hate disappointing friends

Recently I have been so bogged down with class, work, and having enough money to do gifts for everyone for Christmas that everything else just gets put aside. I try to be the best friend that I can be, and I am always here to listen, but I do not have a lot of free time for my friends and they sometimes feel that. I have one friend who is trying to do a book study over a women's christian book, and her first one was supposed to be this Thursday. I think I was supposed to be there, and she was expecting me as her support, but I failed to ask off of work to make sure I made it to her book study. I had to ask of the days before though so I could have time off work to study for my finals, otherwise I would try and get my schedule switched, not to mention I need to work to have enough money for Christmas. I feel really awful about disappointing her, and she does an extra good job making me feel worse about it, but I try to stay positive and not get mad at her for being a little over dramatic about it. And that is horrible I say that, but you all know the time when you know people are upset with you and text "Alright. It's fine." I do not do well with people being disappointed in me, and it really eats away at me. I try not to think about it all the time, because she gets upset with me quite a bit, which I do not like at all. But I mean you can only apologize so much and feel bad so much. And that never solves the problem, so I need not to worry about it so much. I hope she will forgive me soon, and know I did not intentionally forget to ask off. :/ I hope this blows over soon.

I am 18 and still afraid of the dark

Every since I was little, I have always either slept in the same room as someone or had to keep the television on all night while I sleep. All of my friends and all of my family hate sleeping with me because I keep the tv on during the night. Over the past years, I have kept the tube set on nick @ night, only because they usually do not play scary commercials. I formed an adoration for George Lopez and Rosanne. Recently, I have started turning the television volume down, and just leave the it on for the light incase I wake up and need to go to the bathroom or something! But just in the past few weeks my television broke, so I started having to watch movies to fall asleep to. In the list there was Hancock, Cars, and Wedding Crashers. They all played nonstop for about three weeks, until my whole tv broke to where I couldnt even watch the movies. When the movies quit working, I just left my computer screen on, which was my tv, for the light. But, I have in the past few days learned that I sleep better without any noise or light on. I have to talk myself to sleep because for some reason I still get scared. I do not get scared about monsters or ghost or anything, but I freak myself out thinking there is going to be someone in my closet or under my bed. Or that people are going to break into the house and rob us blind! I do not need to think about that, but I do. So I am trying to work myself out of that so I can be a big girl and not be afraid of the dark!!

Our Vacation

I know it is strange to think of a summer vacation during Christmas time, but our summer vacation is definitely my favorite time! Every year my family gets together for a summer visit. For years now, we have been going to Destin, Florida for a good week and just spend time away from work and chaos on the beach. We usually stay at a place called Summer Breeze. Unlike a lot of families, when we go to the beach we try and stay around the pool and at the beach as much as possible. We usually do not go out for lunch or dinner but maybe once. The best thing is to switch between the beach and the pool, get a toasty tan, eat a fresh sandwich for lunch, then eat grilled food for dinner! Another thing I love about the beach is that you get such a good nights sleep, because the sun makes you sooooo tired. I usually get a good sleep even though I usually get stuck on the pull out bed which is only like and inch thick! That is probably the worst thing of the whole trip. My family loves each other very much, but I think after a week together in the same room we get testy with each other and there are usually a good bit of fights! But we always make up and are over it in a few minutes. My cousins and I usually go for walks down the street and get a good cup of ice cream and buy cheap souvenirs to take back home with us. I look forward to this trip every year!!

When I lost Terry's blanket

Terry, my stepfather, has always been very picky about his things. He is the type of man who never liked us borrowing other peoples clothes just for the fact that they are other peoples clothes. And he definitely does not like people messing with his things. When I was in high school, I was on the track team. Track is one of the sports that catch a cold season, and a cold track meet is the worst thing in the world because they last forever. That Christmas, mom had made terry this really cool Auburn fleecy blanket that would cover a queen sized bed. I had a track meet one morning, and everyone on the track team had a cool blanket to use during cold seasons..and I thought well I want one too. So I looked around the house, and all I saw was living room blankets that would look ridiculous anywhere else but the living room. And then I went into my parents room and saw Terry's blanket. I thought about it, and I took it. When I went to the track meet, a laid it out to sit on since it was so big and was enjoying the day. I had to go do one of my events, and was gone for a good bit. As events got finished, people started to leave. And when I got finished with my event, I came back to find that the blanket was no longer there. My stomach dropped. It seemed crazy and people did not understand why I asked around so much for this blanket, but they just did not understand the wrath of Terry. I never found the blanket, and got a lot of crap for it..Mom made him a new one, and he still gets testy when I bring it in the living room to use on cold nights!

Thinking about my old home

From the time I was born, until about seven years ago, I lived in a tiny three bedroom home on Asbury Lane. It was the coziest home, thinking back. There were only three small rooms, one in which I shared with my oldest sister Chelsea, one for my twins sisters, and another for my parents. We only had one and a half baths, so six people used one shower to get ready in the morning. And this bathroom was sooo small! It literally had enough room for one sink, on toilet, a shower, and room to do a small spin. Our living room was so tiny, smaller than most the rooms and it even had a door on it! The kitchen, dining room, and computer room was literally one room. There was only one hallway in the entire home. The kitchen floor was a horrible vinyl flooring that probably was there for years and years. The best part about the house was the attic fan. We would just open the windows and doors, turn on the attic fan and the entire house would feel glorious! I have a step brother and sister, who would come to visit every summer, not to mention my cousins used to practically live with us they were over so much. We somehow managed to squeeze everyone in the one small house. In my room, we had a bunk bed with a hug futon on the bottom, and a twin bed on top. In my twin sister's room, we managed to put a bunk bed with two twin beds, a bed under the bunk beds, and then another bed against the wall. We just put everyone wherever they would go! It was honestly the best place to grow up though. The whole neighborhood was just filled with kids who were always outside playing. I had a fantastic childhood on Asbury Lane, and I sometimes drive by just to see what it looks like.

Someone I would love to see in jail

When I saw this writing prompt, the first person, well group of people that came to my head to be in jail are women who murder their helpless children. Every single time I see these horrible stories on the news, it just makes me sick to my stomach to think those children had a way out, if their ruthless parents would have just spoken up. Throughout my whole life I have heard stories, and stories of mothers running their car with buckled children into lakes, or drowning them in their own bath water. The fact that these mothers are supposed to be the voice for their children, and they give birth to them knowing that they are to protect them from the world. The kids fear the world, only to be sent to heaven by their own mothers. I could not imagine the fear in those children's minds when their last screams are for their mother who are allowing them to leave the world because they were in the way of an affair, or took up too much of their time. And those mothers should be ashamed of themselves for thinking there were no alternate options for those children. Only if they would have spoken up, and reached out to the help that is available to them those children would still be fulfilling their lives today. There are so many women in the world that are unable to have children, and want nothing more to be those children's savior, if only their mother's would do a selfless act. I hope those women sit in jail for the rest of their lives and hate themselves for what they did to precious souls.

A memory from past Christmas

A few years ago, when I was about ten or so, my whole family was over at my nanny's house spending time together and getting ready for Christmas. For the holidays, my family loves cooking really big dinners and everyone sit around the table enjoying everyone's company! Well we all had woken up early that morning at my nanny's; all my sisters and my cousins, to open presents for Christmas. It was just a glorious time, all of us in our Christmas pajamas, opening our gifts, so my parents wanted to put their new video camera to use and they filmed the whole opening of the presents! The day went on, and the cooking began. A huge turkey in the oven, gravy on the stove, and stuffing!! I love the stuffing in the turkey. Everyone had changed into their new clothes that they had received for Christmas, and we were all just playing around, relaxing until dinner. I got bored and decided to go get mom and Terry's new camera to film the lifeless turkey in the oven. I filmed each and every inch of the food we were going to enjoy later that night. We all sat down and enjoyed dinner together, and after we all were stuffed we sat in the living room and decided to watch the video of us opening Christmas presents earlier that morning, only to find that the tape was full of golden turkey. My parents got veryyyy upset with me, and my Christmas night ended in tears. I was so upset, I thought I had ruined the whole Christmas for everyone! I still remember that day vividly to this day!!!